Signs and exams

May 29th. Last night I, Lyns, returned from France. Firstly, I am disappointed that the first class 'VIP' lounge on NorfolkLine is nolonger my private domain! Ah no; I loved the solitude, the luxury gained from a few people sharing a limited space.

BUT now - good Lord, there are several, nay, tens of people gaining entry. This seems to co-incide with extra Kudos / status visually added to passengers waiting to board via a VIP queue. So, instead of rather suruptiously boarding with my discreet VIP pass, I now have to wait in a large queue of people waiting for 'favourable boarding'. I don't need to gain prestinge via my placement on a budget ferry !!!!! So, maybe I will just save up and go via the tunnel or even fly from now on!

Ahhh!

This story has been brought to you via Lyndsey, 44, female, in love with Michael.

Lignieres

Bonjour,

Half term holiday in Lignieres, 18160, France:

It is worth the 6 and a half hour trip [that is - if the traffic around Paris behaves!!] across France. I left Flitwick in Bedfordshire avec Famille on Friday 22nd May at 7pm. About half an hour after original arranged departure time!

We decided on this occassion to use Eurotunnel enroute, as Mike was only going for a long weekend. Eurotunnel was quick. No other adjective can be found to describe it: Quick.

When I finally go to meet my maker I hope they find many adjectives to define me; not just 'quick'. Imagine: 'Lyndsey was rather speedy', 'Lyndsey never arrived late', 'On time! Was Lyndsey's byword.' Well, I guess I can appreciate the Eurotunnel functioning reliably on one level: Quickness. Thank you.

Mike returned Monday p.m. after a long weekend of scrapping wall paper and painting. I, Lyndsey, continued with general painting for another two days! Oh bother. At least some socialising took place. I managed to see M & G; G and had a fabulous raclette. My Mum & Dad, hereafter to be known as Mum and Dad, or Tony and Bard, have given a raclette machine to The Mike and Lyndsey cause. We henceforth intend to inspire all of our friends dans Angleterre into the ways of French cuisine via la raclette. Okay, a big stumbling block is cooking cheese avec viande, mais, it is not necessary, potatoes really do make a good meat alternative and - what about salmon or sword fish? Cool alternatives to meat babie.

Summary of Half Term May 2009 Lignieres: Mike, raclette; Lyns saw French friends Soph and Bruno; Lyns decorated their house at 'La maison rouge'. Lyns had lunch with M & G - who are amazing!

A funny thing happened at the office

Actually a funny thing happened on the way to the office. I was happily reading waiting for my lift to the school I teach in. Lost in the book I had no idea of time. When I did decide to look at my watch it was 8:10. Twenty minutes after my pick-up time! I briefly panicked, thinking 'should I thumb a lift?' I picked up my bag containing lunch, computer, books and by huge box of marking and realised that nobody in their right minds would stop for a dishevelled forty something with that amount of luggage.

I 'ran' across the road to the railway station. With no time to buy a ticket I stumbled onto the platform. With some concern I realised that my tutor group would be waiting for me, so I decided to phone the school, except I 'don't believe' in carrying a mobile phone. A business woman nearby was just finishing using her mobile so, even though I realised how dodgy it would look, I asked if I could borrow her phone. She hesitated for split second and then seeing how weighed down I was realised that I wasn't going to get far with her phone even if my intentions were bad. Her mind was made up when I started to thrust my marking at her and cried: 'I'm a teacher.' in my most pleading voice. Eventually she ended up emailing the school for me with her magic phone.

When I reached my station I landed on the platform quite unable to find the exit. A very kind man helped me escape. I happened to notice he had keys in his hand, so yes, I asked this total stranger to drive me down to my school. Enroute I discovered that he, now known as Geoff, is the uncle of one of my students! So now the entire school knows of my exploits. As he drove me down the road a truck overtook us. The driver was frantically waving. I asked the guy if he knew anyone with a truck. 'Oh no' says he. We both did our best to ignore the nutter who was honking and waving increasingly frenetically; until we pulled up alongside him at a junction. Then Geoff realised that it was indeed one of his mates. Now, when this mate recounts to Geoff's wife how Geoff ignored him whilst driving a strange women it's not going to look good.

Funny answer taken from 'best Geography exam howlers':
Q. What scale do seismologists use to measure the force of earthquakes?
A. A very strong one, not made from glass.

Funny answer taken from a Geography test paper:
Q. Where would be a good place to situate a windfarm?
A. Between two lanes of a motorway because the cars driving past will create a draft.

And from Religious Studies:
Q. Name one piece of religious clothing a Sikh might wear.
A. A turbine.